1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbitt
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
2. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17and 40
3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
4. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American Passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17and 40
9. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17and 40
10. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b.The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor-winning former Governors, and leave Muslim Males between the ages of 17 and 40 alone because of profiling.
Lets send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel doubly ashamed of themselves if they have any such sense. As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it:
"Stupid is as stupid does."
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sayings of Zen
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. AMEN!!!
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are a windshield.
16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women—neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt...then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED!
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. AMEN!!!
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are a windshield.
16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women—neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt...then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED!
Monday, October 19, 2009
U.S. Flag Test
How much do you know about the U.S. flag and how to properly display and care for it? Take this test. Answers are at the end.
1. On whose authority shall the US flag be flown at half-staff?
a. Either the President or the Governor of a state, possession or territory
b. The University President
c. Any elected state official
d. Both a and c
2. How long is the US flag to be flown at half-staff upon the death of President or former President?
a. 30 days
b. 2 weeks
c. 90 days
d. State discretion
3. Can you wear the US flag like a shawl?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Yes, with proper approval
d. Yes, if you are a citizen
4. How do you half-mast the US flag?
a. It is raised slowly to the half-mast position
b. It is raised briskly to the half-mast position
c. It is briskly hoisted to the peak for an instant and then lowered ceremoniously to the half-staff position. The flag should be again raised briskly to the peak before it lowered ceremoniously for the day
d. It is raised slowly to the half-mast position precisely at noon
5. How do you fly the US flag on Memorial Day?
a. It is raised to half-mast at noon and then lowered at dusk
b. It is flown at half-mast until noon when it is raised to the peak
c. It is flown at half-mast until dusk when it is briskly lowered
d. It is not flown at half-mast on Memorial Day
6. When can another flag or pennant may be flown above the US flag?
a. During church services conducted by naval chaplains at sea, when the church pennant may be flown above the flag during church services for personnel of the Navy
b. It is never allowed
c. When an American vessel has been captured the capturing forces fly our flag below their flag
d. In time of distress
7. When is the US flag flown upside down?
a. As a signal of distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property
b. During a lawful protest
c. When an elected official has been assassinated
d. Never
8. Do you have to destroy a US flag if it touches the ground?
a. No
b. Yes
c. Yes—if the ground is wet
d. Yes—if it is not an all purpose flag
9. Is the US flag ever lowered into the ground when it is used to cover a casket?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Yes—and it is then retrieved, folded, and given to the next of kin
d. Yes—always. It is standard practice at military funerals
10. Can you display the US flag at night?
a. Yes—if it is properly illuminated
b. Yes—if there are other flags in the area that are being displayed
c. Yes—it’s your flag. Do what you want with it
d. Yes—if it has gold fringe
11. How is the US flag hoisted (raised)?
a. Slowly
b. By uniformed military personnel
c. Briskly
d. Only to reveille
12. How is the US flag lowered?
a. Briskly
b. Ceremoniously
c. By uniformed military personnel
d. To music
(Answers: 1a; 2a; 3b; 4c; 5b; 6a; 7a; 8a; 9b; 10a; 11c; 12b)
1. On whose authority shall the US flag be flown at half-staff?
a. Either the President or the Governor of a state, possession or territory
b. The University President
c. Any elected state official
d. Both a and c
2. How long is the US flag to be flown at half-staff upon the death of President or former President?
a. 30 days
b. 2 weeks
c. 90 days
d. State discretion
3. Can you wear the US flag like a shawl?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Yes, with proper approval
d. Yes, if you are a citizen
4. How do you half-mast the US flag?
a. It is raised slowly to the half-mast position
b. It is raised briskly to the half-mast position
c. It is briskly hoisted to the peak for an instant and then lowered ceremoniously to the half-staff position. The flag should be again raised briskly to the peak before it lowered ceremoniously for the day
d. It is raised slowly to the half-mast position precisely at noon
5. How do you fly the US flag on Memorial Day?
a. It is raised to half-mast at noon and then lowered at dusk
b. It is flown at half-mast until noon when it is raised to the peak
c. It is flown at half-mast until dusk when it is briskly lowered
d. It is not flown at half-mast on Memorial Day
6. When can another flag or pennant may be flown above the US flag?
a. During church services conducted by naval chaplains at sea, when the church pennant may be flown above the flag during church services for personnel of the Navy
b. It is never allowed
c. When an American vessel has been captured the capturing forces fly our flag below their flag
d. In time of distress
7. When is the US flag flown upside down?
a. As a signal of distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property
b. During a lawful protest
c. When an elected official has been assassinated
d. Never
8. Do you have to destroy a US flag if it touches the ground?
a. No
b. Yes
c. Yes—if the ground is wet
d. Yes—if it is not an all purpose flag
9. Is the US flag ever lowered into the ground when it is used to cover a casket?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Yes—and it is then retrieved, folded, and given to the next of kin
d. Yes—always. It is standard practice at military funerals
10. Can you display the US flag at night?
a. Yes—if it is properly illuminated
b. Yes—if there are other flags in the area that are being displayed
c. Yes—it’s your flag. Do what you want with it
d. Yes—if it has gold fringe
11. How is the US flag hoisted (raised)?
a. Slowly
b. By uniformed military personnel
c. Briskly
d. Only to reveille
12. How is the US flag lowered?
a. Briskly
b. Ceremoniously
c. By uniformed military personnel
d. To music
(Answers: 1a; 2a; 3b; 4c; 5b; 6a; 7a; 8a; 9b; 10a; 11c; 12b)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Does Hell Exist?
Does Hell Exist - What does the Old Testament say?
Does Hell exist? A proper biblical worldview includes a belief in a real, eternal, and physical hell. What do you believe?
It is very interesting to discover that there are more Bible verses about Hell than there are about Heaven. Here are a few verses in the Old Testament about Hell.
Daniel 12:2 proclaims, "Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt." Hell is described here as everlasting.
Isaiah 66:24 declares, "And they will go out and look upon the dead bodies of those who rebelled against me; their worm will not die, nor will their fire be quenched, and they will be loathsome to all mankind." In this Scripture, hell is described as a place where the fire is not quenched.
Deuteronomy 32:22 portrays hell as a place where God pours out His wrath, "For a fire is kindled in My anger, and shall burn to the lowest hell; It shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains."
Psalms 55:15 illustrates hell as a realm of the wicked, "Let death seize them; Let them go down alive into hell, for wickedness is in their dwellings and among them."
Does Hell Exist - What does the New Testament say?
Does Hell Exist? If the clear teaching of the Old Testament is not enough, the New Testament has much to say as well. 2 Thessalonians 1:9 tells us, "These shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power."
Revelation 14:10-11, speaking of the antichrist, teaches us, "He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name."
Hell is a lake of burning fire, as described in Revelation 20:14-15, "Then Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire."
Does Hell Exist - What did Jesus say?
Some who argue that hell does not exist do so on the basis of their belief that Jesus taught love, peace, and forgiveness - and that He did not teach about an eternal place of fiery punishment for non-believers. However, the exact opposite is true. Jesus taught more about hell than anyone else in the Word of God. Jesus described hell as an unquenchable fire (Matthew 3:12), a place of eternal fire, (Matthew 25:41) eternal punishment (Matthew 25:46), and as a place of torment, fire, and agony (Luke 16:23-24). Jesus taught specifically about hell many times in His ministry (Matthew 5:22, 29-30; 10:28; 18:9; 23:15,33; Mark 9:43-47; Luke 12:6; 16:23).
Does Hell Exist - How is an eternity in Hell fair?
If Hell does exist, how can it be fair? Why would a loving God punish a person for eternity, when their sins only took place for 70-80 years? The answer is that all sin is ultimately against God, who is infinite (Psalm 51:4). So, since God is an eternal and infinite Being, all sin is worthy of an infinite punishment.
Yes, God loves us (John 3:16) and wants all people to be saved (2 Peter 3:9). However, God is also just and righteous - He will not allow sin to go unpunished. That is why God sent Jesus to pay the price for our sins. Jesus Christ's death was an infinite death, paying our infinite sin debt - so that we would not have to pay it in Hell for eternity (2 Corinthians 5:21). All we have to do is put our faith in Him and we are forgiven and promised an eternal home in heaven. God loved us so much to provide for our salvation. If we reject His gift of eternal life through the Lord Jesus Christ, we will face the eternal consequences of that decision - an eternity in a fiery hell.
If you were to die today do you know with 100% certainty that you are going to heaven?
The definition of "is"
"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the--if he--if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not--that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement....Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true."
The distinction between "is" and "was" was seized on by the commentariat when
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
"According to Paul Harvey"
"I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho Ho Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution. Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game. "But it's a Christian prayer," some will argue. Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect-somebody chanting Hare Krishna? If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer. If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer. If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit. When in Rome. "But what about the atheists?" is another argument. What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer. Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations. Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying. God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you…sue me. The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard, that the vast majority don't care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It's time we tell them you don't have to pray. You don't have to say the pledge of allegiance, you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right. But by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back and we WILL WIN! God bless us one and all, especially those who denounce Him. God bless America, despite all her faults, she is still the greatest nation of all. God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God. Keep looking up. In God WE Trust.”
The Accident Report
This man was in an accident (work accident, not car accident), so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information.
This was his response:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient:
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 155 pounds. Due to the shock of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in Block 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower.
In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools. Fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope . . .
This was his response:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient:
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 155 pounds. Due to the shock of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in Block 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower.
In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools. Fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope . . .
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